BALLS vs. BOOBS -the toilet seat wars
I’ve decided to introduce a new idea called “Balls vs. Boobs.” The inspiration for this arose during a friends rant about his girlfriend. It got me thinking about the classic battle that everyone wages when in a relationship. We contrast and interact every day, thus leading to so many funny or frustrating scenarios. We are constantly bitching about the opposite sex to our friends and relatives so why not create a location for both parties to vent? In a “nutshell”, my idea is to have a forum both sexes can debate humorous differences by leaving comments with their own perspective. There are two sides to every story, right? Mine is obviously just one retarded viewpoint and I’m hoping this will help make my site a more engaging place for men and women to rip on each other. Fuck that sounds fun! (In my head at least)
The toilet seat will forever be a cause for dispute.
An x-girlfriend made this a frequent argument. “The toilet seats up again!” “Well then put it down bitch.” I understand the reason for the seat to stay down is so a girl doesn’t go deep-sea toilet fishing with her vagina. My only question, when did the toilet seat become the man’s responsibility? Say a guest comes over and leaves the seat up, should we suffer from somebody else’s mistake? Is this something that needs arguing over? I’m just saying it’s not worth bringing up. If I leave it up, put it down. If you leave it down I don’t yell at you to put it up. Maybe we should though, that might get you to stop yelling over something so stupid. “For the love of god, baby Jesus and everything holy on this planet, would you put the fucking toilet seat up!” Sheeeeesh! Next time the beatings start.
It’s not our fault you’re lazy and fall in? Call me crazy, but if I dipped my warm ball sac into cold, dirty toilet water you can bet your bottom dollar it would NOT happen again. I think if a woman falls in she’s just so pissed she has to take it out on first person she sees, which is usually us. If we weren’t around after their vagina swirly they would probably kick the dog.
I’ve been conditioned to pee with the seat down, becoming quite the marksman. Aiming my soldier dead center bowl in hopes not to get any pee on the seat. With that said, if a dollop lands on the throne when I’m pissing at 3:30 in the morning I’m sure as shit not wiping it up. So what would you prefer? Getting pee on your butt cheek or doing a punanny belly flop?
Why is there even an option for a lift? I’m thinking it should just be a stationary seat fixed to the bowl. If you get a little pee-pee on it, oh well. I’m super gluing the seat when I get home.
Toilet seat wars have been waged long before me…
and will continue to be fought well after I’m dead!
Whose side are you on? Vote via comment and give your opinion.