This is how I feel when I use my debit card.

"Debit" for direct withdraw. "Credit" for withdraw in a couple of days. Use "Credit" if you have less than a buck fitty in your checking account or the card is stolen.

Yes

Fuck me! Of course I'll help those poor unfortunate children. Jesus loves me! YAY!

No I don't want cash back, I'll just spend it on strippers and booze. Sorry Jesus.

Yes I'm sure!

No, put $27 on the card and I'll hold up the line by counting out .34 cents from my change purse that I still have from the Great Depression. Of course I want the full amount on the card you piece of shit!

Absolutely! The time I save having hotpockets for breakfast, lunch and dinner will be better spent on the toilet. Hotpokeeeeeeeeets!

YES I"M FUCKING SURE!!!!

I will let you empty my account if you end this transaction.

Every time I’m running late I get stuck behind the person in the “express” line that doesn’t know how to use a calculator, let alone one of these state-of-the-art devices.

For these people, I give you a little information that might help speed up your day (doubt it).