Peep Peep, Gang Bang
- April 1st, 2011
- Posted in THE HANDBOOK
- By evil.twin
- Write comment
When is Easter? I remember thinking mid March, “Did I miss Easter?” After doing a little research I discovered the date changes dramatically every year and is celebrated anywhere between March 22 and April 25. NO SHIT!? I really spent 32(practically 33) years of my life not knowing this? That being said, “When is Easter?” is not an easy question to answer.
Person: Good day sir.
Me: Good day!
Person: Do you happen to know what day Easter falls on this year, sonny?
Me: Not off-hand gent but let me fashion you with an equation to figure it out.
Divide the year by 19, obtaining a remainder (0 through 18). Add one to the remainder, giving you the Golden Number for that year (1 through 19).
From the Golden Number, you can determine when the Paschal Moon (or Paschal Full Moon) is. This Paschal Moon has nothing to do with the real moon. It is just a date, after the first day of Spring (approximately March 21), which you can determine from this table:
| # | date | # | date | # | date | # | date | |||
| 1 | Apr. 14 | 6 | Apr. 18 | 11 | Mar. 25 | 16 | Mar. 30 | |||
| 2 | Apr. 3 | 7 | Apr. 8 | 12 | Apr. 13 | 17 | Apr. 17 | |||
| 3 | Mar. 23 | 8 | Mar. 28 | 13 | Apr. 2 | 18 | Apr. 7 | |||
| 4 | Apr. 11 | 9 | Apr. 16 | 14 | Mar. 22 | 19 | Mar. 27 | |||
| 5 | Mar. 31 | 10 | Apr. 5 | 15 | Apr. 10 |
Easter is the next Sunday, after this Paschal Moon date. In other words, if the Paschal Moon is a Sunday, then Easter is the next Sunday.
Or you could just look on a fucking calendar.
I hope this helps to explain why I’m wishing you a Happy Easter on April Fools day.
Well played peeps.
Are those marshmallows? It looks like tortellinis.
Oh come on, please tell me they have peeps where your from?
I actually had to google it so no, there’s no peeps here. Unless you count the slang for friends, or just random people watching other random people.
Oh good, you’re in luck then. They are dreadful little things that take both, chick and bunny form. I group them with the bad candy of the world like the black jelly bean and circus peanuts. What bad candy do you have on your planet?
Hmmmm.. I don’t know really. Black jelly beans and circus peanuts doesn’t ring a bell either. Well I’m stumped, oh, pretty much all those “ready mixes” of candy sucks. They’re always low quality and a nightmare to get as a kid because you had to eat some of it to make the relatives that brought it happy. Ugh.
Wynn, I freaking know you can do better then that! What candy did you get on Halloween that made you want to vomit?
My top five list of candy that taste like fresh butthole…
Neccos
Black Jelly Beans
Circus Peanuts-wtf are they?
Peeps -beady black eyed marshmallow possessed by the devil.
Gumballs
Candy Corn-fu
We sort of don’t do Halloween, it’s mostly a grown up thing here for people to get slutted up, costumed out and drunk at the same time. When I was little, halloween wasn’t even close to being a common occurance. Only All hallows eve that is celebrated, sort of.
And during the easter-halloweenequivalent mom bought us candy instead of sending us around the neighbourhood.
But, mostly coconut creeped me out when I was a kid. Oh, and that chocolate with nuts and fruit. Who the hell destroyed chocolate by putting dried FRUIT in it? I was always disappointed if anyone bought me that.
Okay now we’re talking! Yes, coconut is f-ing gross. Dried fruit in my chocolate sounds pretty gay but fresh fruit dipped in chocolate is amazing.
As long as your planet gets slutted up for Halloween it can be all that bad.
FYI-My favorite candy in the world is Heath bar. Love me some english toffee.
Fresh fruit is a whole other story, but dried fruist is without exception a gay occurance. And I don’t mean the positive, homosexual kind of gay.
And yes indeed, we get slutted up. I have been planning for years to dress as a bo peep but always been too poor to make an outfit, so I have had to settle for schoolgirl. Sometime I will be a slutty bo peep damnit, complete with the long stick with a bend on it. Mark my words! Tulle, here I come!
.. Ha-ha, come.
It’s entirely too early for me to post comments. Really.
Dried fruit is gay with chocolate but not when its some kind of trail mix combo. I have many food rules.
Bo “PEEP” sounds pretty hot however, a schoolgirl costume is hardly settling just is not very original. 9-10 girls dub this costume on Hallotween. Get on it and bo peep yo-self!
I will! But the last many years I haven’t had enough money to do it properly, and if I can’t do it properly, it has to wait!