Vacation Depression
- May 12th, 2011
- Posted in PET PEEVE OF THE DAY
- By evil.twin
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Riddle me this? How the fuck do I transition from the sun soaked island of Aruba with white sandy beaches, crystal aquamarine water, Miami vice with an extra shot of rum, random rouge iguanas, cool ocean breezes, pulled pork sliders with the tiny fried onions, a bottomless cup of Balashi brew, talking parrots, accompanied by 150 of my oldest and newest closest friends to…
an overly fluorescent lit, air-conditioned office with retards I wouldn’t extinguish with my pee if their assholes caught fire… and NOT want to kill myself???
Aruba my love, I miss you. 
Seamless transition.
No sympathy from a woman that worked the whole time you were gone on your “Birthday Holiday” and has not had a decent vacation since 1998.
But if it would help your withdraw, I would be happy to make my famous pulled pork and pour a few beers if you snag your brother and come for a visit.
If it sweetens the pot, I would change that to cheezy chicken and broccoli w/ noodles. Love, d
Do you have talking parrots and rouge iguanas? You haven’t been on vaca for more than a decade? JESUS! I’ve decided to take you on the duck tours for your birthday. Its not quite a vacation but its on the water in an amphibious vehicle…August 1st right?
Screaming laughing from your reply.
No parrots or iguanas here, but we have a little pond…it has a lawn frog that rib-its when you walk past. Also, I am sure Joe will turn on the sprinkler.
The duck tour sounds quack-tastic!!!
Yes Ma’am! I will fashion us with artillery helmets in case a barge decides it wants to ruin all your birthday fun! I mean honestly, who doesn’t want to put their life in danger for such an outrageous good time! Unfortunately, the noise makers are now banned so we have to just scream and yell like complete idiots in hopes of annoying everyone we come in contact with. Thinking about flying Matt in, he would be so disappointed if I didn’t…
“it has a lawn frog that rib-its when you walk past.”
Are you mocking me with this statement? Jeremiah was a bullfrog? Very funny, like I’ve never heard that one before.
I bow to the master of comebacks….you are the best and a great talent.
Matt was trying to get a family cruise together…this would work!
OK, now even I want to slit my wrists. Thanks a LOT, Twin. It’s raining here. And windy. And non tropical, thanks. I’m going over here now to sulk and maybe eat a cookie which will go straight to my waistline. It’s YOUR fault.
Misery loves company, my favorite Assassin.
You should delve deep into the music category of “summer torment”, you know, I know you know the one. It starts in may and then it’s played on every club on every bar on every place you could ever imagine, until early september. It’ll keep you occupied for the transition back to normal life, at least.
This is an actual song called “summer torment”? I googled and utubed and couldn’t find anything. Is this a wild goose chase to distract me from my “summer torment”??????
No! The summer torment is a new song every year. A song that comes out during the springs, gets reaally popular and then torments everyone the entire summer
Gotcha
My torment this year is “Fireworks” by K.P. It’s not new but its so F-ing catchy! I’m as giddy as a 14 year old school girl when it comes on. It was the theme song of my recent trip. “Boom boom boom, even brighter than the moon moon moon!”
Thanks Donna. I enjoy your input a lot. Unfortunatly, Matt agrees that “arguing” (banter) is one of our strong suites. I should have been a lawyer.
never too late!